I would like to start by saying, hands down, being a mama is not easy (especially a new one).
When Owen arrived, I felt overwhelmed with the responsibility of ensuring this mini human lives.
He still teaches me what it feels like when your heart is walking around on the outside (every single day).
More happiness in the house with his smiles and laughter.
Love and forgiveness is unbelievably stretched to a surprising extend as I am not a good example to live by when it comes to my temper.
I also learned to put my mobile phone away when he is around to avoid missing every precious moment.
Time spent together is more memorable as the three of us try to capture every single moment either with our cameras, phones or storing it into our sweet and precious memories.
The innocence Owen brings whenever he laugh to simple things melt my heart every day.
Who knew life would be this simple?
I never knew being a mama would be this rewarding.
As there are almost always bad when there’s good.
Even reading articles before Owen’s arrival did not prepare myself with the psychological battle.
Me, myself and I.
I wasn’t happy with my physical appearance after delivery with a saggy tummy and terrible sleepless look on a daily basis.
I felt especially helpless after delivering Owen because I couldn’t do much to help around the house and to take care of my baby.
I felt like I wasn’t enough for my husband and son.
I was worried whenever Owen was out of sight due to the fear of someone taking him away from me.
I cried when Owen had jaundice as I was helpless as a mother.
All those emotions of guilt, helplessness and uselessness kept pouring in until at times I would breakdown alone in my room with Owen in my arms.
I didn’t know who to turn to since I didn’t know how to explain myself and I roughly knew what others would’ve responded to my nonsense.
In the end, I managed to convince myself that it is all in my mind and nothing more.
I should be confident with myself knowing that I just gave birth to a human being and that I am tired, which in result require assistance from others when I am unable to complete certain tasks.
Nobody is ever perfect.
I accepted that I am no exception from that statement above.
I’m learning to count my blessings even if it may not seem that much of a blessing to others.
Seeing my boy smile whenever I open the door fills my soul 😍
Until next time 😘